Another night alone at home, silence fills the room.
I turn the lights out to fill the empty space.
My mind screams but my heart never hears it.
I block out any signs of a splitting end.
Tonight somehow those thoughts creep through
making their way into my heart.
A home with one heart is no home at all.
A ship headed toward deep waters never
sees the lighthouse calling it home.
Then again, a ship knows no home
better than troubled waters.
Fair winds, bucko.
It’s been a while since I have sat down to write. I could give you a million excuses why I haven’t written but they would all be just that, excuses. I have been feeling quite interesting lately so I figured it was time to sit down and put words on paper.
I am twenty-three years young and feeling every second of it. I work as a bartender full-time and spend my free time reading. Currently, I am going through an interesting time in my life and would like to share with you why that is. Lately I have found that I tend to be slightly too influenced by others opinions. I have always seen myself as being very independent, which is why this new discovery is so interesting to me. People say you are most impressionable when you are a child, however I believe I have found that in my early twenties I am still at that state. Don’t get me wrong, I can make decisions for myself and I don’t jump on every bandwagon I see. I am simply saying that what others think still has a type of impact on me, and I soak up information like a sponge. Part of this could be the fact that I just moved to a new city and am trying to figure it out. Best places to eat, best coffee shops, best chocolate cake in town, etc..
I am not upset at this new discovery, I find it as a step forward in “growing up.” I am on a mission of getting to know myself better now. I have spent so many years people pleasing that I have forgotten to live my own life. I encourage anyone and everyone to take a step back and ask yourself this…Who are you living for?